


Alone in spring

by pixiesunglix



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Boys in Skirts, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Han Jisung | Han is Whipped, Internalized Homophobia, Jisung is straight, Just not yet, Lee Minho is a confident gay, M/M, Not Beta Read, Pining, Right?, cheerleader Lee Minho, confused Han Jisung
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:07:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29115009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiesunglix/pseuds/pixiesunglix
Summary: Jisung is straight, right?______________________The fic where Jisung is apparently super straight but a certain Lee Minho is making him question that notion.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	1. start of confusion

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first long chaptered fic ever! The first chapter is the shortest one because its more of an introduction. I hope you enjoy!

“Seriously hyung, why the hell did i have to come to this thing? you know i dont like.. this sort of stuff.” Chan let out a chuckle next to him, an arm coming to wrap around his shoulders. “You only come out of your room for parties Sung, might as well drag you out for something else for once” 

Unconsciously he pouted as they continued walking towards where the event was held, hands in his pockets, fiddling with loose lint. When they were let in, they were soon joined by Changbin and some random girl on his arm. Both him and Chan fell into conversation about who the hell knows what as they made their way to the bleachers. As they sat down, Changbin left them, dragging the girl with him, saying they were going for snacks. Jisung couldn’t help look around in boredom. There were a few reasons he never really left his room unless it was for class or for parties. He had a slight public anxiety problem, so being in social situations kinda made him uncomfortable and when it came to parties he was usually so full of alcohol his brain didn’t register much of the situation. The sole reason he actually went to those parties wasn’t for the social interactions anyways, it was to get laid.

As he scanned the crowd, no one really caught his eye except this one girl who kept starring at him. A few seconds and he realized it might be someone he messed with before, he ducked down and hid behind Chan’s slightly larger frame. “The hell are you doing Sung?” Jisung peeked around him and there she was, still starring at him. “You see that girl over there?” He pointed in the general direction of where she was, trying to make his movements as inconspicuous as possible. Chan nodded, confused. “Well, I think I’ve fucked her before and she looks like she wants to talk to me” 

Chan just shook his head, going to back to watching whatever he had been before, leaving Jisung to fend for his own. The girl in question got up and made her way towards them. Jisung straightened up and sat there rigid, trying to rid away the anxious thought roaming his head.

“Hi, Jisung?” He looked towards her, trying to muster up the most casual expression he could “Yeah?” She kinda had a sour expression as she gave him a once over. “Do you even remember me?” He shook his head, eyes a little lost. He tried to place her, he really did, but his hook-ups all faded to one big mish-mash in his brain. “I’m sorry, I don’t” 

She tsked, crossing her arms over her chest. That’s when he caught a glimpse of something she was holding, it looked like a cheerleading uniform. She turned on her heels, ready to walk away before muttering something, clearly intended for him to hear. “Oh, you’ll remember me..” And with that, she was off, presumably towards somewhere she could change.

Chan sighed next to him “Welp, she was kinda, odd?” He nodded dumbly in response. Wanting to forget about the weird encounter. He turned in his seat, facing the field. Today was the first football game of the season and to be honest, he would’ve been way happier staying home and watching some kind of documentary. Sitting in the sun for a couple of hours to watch some dudes tackle each other to the ground just wasn’t his cup of tea. 

He perched his head on his hands, watching people pass by. A few minutes go by and a soda is being dangled in front of his face, he swipes it, opening it and muttering a small ‘thanks’ before downing a good amount of it. He exhales and pulls his phone out, putting the drink down at his feet, silently praying no one kicks it down. He scrolls through a couple social media pages before growing bored again but refuses to watch the game out of pride (?).

He drowns out the cheers and hollers from the crowd, the noise getting a little too loud for comfort, contemplating getting out his earbuds and tuning everything out that way, however, something distracts him from his thoughts, making him look up. Right front and center of the field are the cheerleaders, mostly all girls but still a few guys in the bunch. He can see all the players are on the sidelines for a break, all watching the cheerleader go though their routine. He looks back at them, eyes roaming and some do peak his interest. He picks out that girl from the previous encounter and visibly shudders. A hand smacks on his shoulder, making him jump and look back at whoever it was. Changbin sits there, smug smile on his face and seemingly alone, he quirks a brow up. “Any of them look interesting to you Sung?” Jisung just smacks his hand away and turns back around.

However someone does catch his eye. He’s on the cheer team and looks like all the other guys except, he’s cute. His eyes travel further down only to choke on his own spit. He’s wearing a skirt, he’s wearing the goddamn girl’s uniform but he looks so good, even better than the gi-, no. He stops that train of thought right away. He can’t think a boy, this boy, is cute. He’s not attracted to him whatsoever, he’s straight for gad’s sake. He’s fucking straight. He feels a hand on his back and just now realizes that Chan’s talking to him. “Sung-Jisung, you good?” Jisung nods and gives him reassuring smile as his eyes travel back to the boy.

“Hyung, who is that?” He makes a gesture with his head towards the boy, hoping Chan would just read his mind. The older squints and scan the people on and around the fiels. “You’re gonna have to point them out better than that Sung” 

“The guy on the cheer team…. the one with the skirt” He puts his head in his hands and rubs furiously at his face, trying to rid himself of the thoughts slowly flooding his brain. “Oh, yeah. That’s Lee Minho, pretty much a prodigy in the dance department, we have a couple of classes together but i’ve never talked to him, why?” He looks back at Jisung and then at Minho, going back and forth a few times trying to connect the dots as to why his friend looks so distressed. 

When Jisung lifts his head and faces Chan, his cheeks are red, Changbin rests his chin on the youngest’s shoulder, now fully paying attention to the conversation. “No reason..” The two eldest look at each other, sceptical of their friend’s answer. Changbin looks around and spots Minho, going through a separate routine with the rest of the guys and this time, he’s the flyer. He gets hoisted up into the air, doing a bunch of fancy tricks that get the crowd to cheer along. The added yells get Jisung to look up, eyes glued to Minho’s form. The skirt twirling around when he gets thrown up in a basket toss, doing a twist in the air and the others catching him.

“Damn…” His friend nod in unison, a little captivated by the performance. 

He watches the cheer team leave the field and sit on the sidelines, leaving room for the players to resume their game. All Jisung can think about now is the pretty boy in the skirt. “Hey, Ji? I thought you were straight.” He looks up, sporting an offended expression, glaring at both his friends. “I am, what the fuck are you talking about?” Changbin giggles as Chan points to his crotch. He looks down at his obvious semi, kind of embarrassed he turns back to them and mutters “whatever… I’m not gay” One of them lets out a snort

He’s not against people being gay or whatever, he just isn’t, he’s straight. He’s always been attracted to girls. Nothing and no one will change that facts, not even Lee Minho and his skirt.

He gets up and tells them he’s going to the bathroom, Changbin throwing him a suggestive look, glancing at his crotch. All he does is send a middle finger his way and walks off towards the bathrooms. He’s walked through this part of the college enough times to be able to find it himself.

After he finishes his business he goes up to wash his hands but before he can do so, someone bumps into him. Slightly annoyed he looks up to whoever it is and all that he was going to say gets caught. He clears his throat. “Watch out dude, seriously” Another wave of annoyance washes over him at his immediate thoughts (he blocks them before they intrude his brain) when he lays eyes on none other than Lee Minho himself. “Hm sorry sweetheart but this one was all you.”

“Excuse me?” Minho looks back at him, a smirk replacing his smile, an eyebrow quirked upwards. “Not my fault you were too busy thinking of whatever it is you were thinking about.” He had noticed Jisung in the crowd earlier, watching him intently and thought he could play around with him a bit.

“I saw how you were looking at me before” Jisung scoffed, turning to finally wash his hands. “Fuck off” Minho leans on the counter next to the other, watching him. “Aw seriously, didn’t you enjoy the show? You certainly couldn’t stop watching me” Jisung didn’t answer, drying his hands with a paper towel. He turned, making his way to the exit but getting blocked half way. “Just admit it babe, you liked watching me didn’t you?” Trying to keep his composure, fists clenched. 

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about but leave me the fuck alone, im not gay.” With that he left the bathrooms, pushing past him and making his way back to his friends, trying to push the thought of Minho far, far away.


	2. such a mess of internal feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it isn't just the skirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After writing the first chapter I just had flood of ideas, so here is chapter 2 , an hour later. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

The next few days were spent doing school work, mostly, writing lyrics for his comp class. He had successfully pushed all thoughts of you know who away, convincing himself it was all because the skirt he was thinking of him.He was able to go long enough without the thoughts to be able to function like a normal human being. In all honesty, he had been avoiding any chance to run into Minho by staying in his room, not even going out to that party Chan had invited him to. 

It was around 11pm when he got up from his nook, surrounded by books, his laptop and other sorts of things. He was incredibly hungry by now, the last time he ate was that morning and that’s what had got him standing in front of his empty cupboards. With a sigh, he closed it, making it slam a little louder than he intended to. He went to his nightstand, grabbed his keys and his shoes before heading to the nearest convenience store.

When he entered the store, it was rather quiet, then again it was pretty late. Without much thought, he roamed the isles, trying to find something that was cheap enough. He picked up a few cups of ramen and some chocolate and made his way to the register. There were voices behind him and to satisfy his curiosity, he turned slightly only to turn back around in an instant. It was Minho, accompanied by someone else, a guy with blonde hair and small build. 

He paid for his things and practically made a run for it back to the dorms. All this time he had successfully avoided the thought and the person himself for days, all that effort lost in the span of a few minutes. He fell onto his bed with a huff, wanting to scream his lungs out but it was too late for that. He didn’t need to get reported for another noise complaint. It took over an hour for him to finally fall asleep, trying to battles against the thoughts that tried to invade him.

_______

The next morning he woke up in a frenzy, his alarm had been going off for the better part of half an hour and he, in favour of sleep, decided to ignore it for a while, which only resorted in him being late and almost locked out of his first class. He greeted Chan and changbin and sat down, hair a mess and face still riddled with sleep. This was the only class he shared with his friends as this particular class was for both 2nd and 3rd years combined. The teacher was at the front of the class, looking quite annoyed at the sudden interruption but nonetheless kept explaining.

“As I was saying, you will have to prepare a set list of songs, preferably of different styles, meanings and feelings. The set list will have to be between 4 and 8 songs long. For this particular project, you will be paired up with a few students from the dance major. Will also need vocals in at least half of the songs you compose, ask student from different departments for help. Now group yourselves in teams of 3 to 5 and discuss until the other students come. I will give the hand out in the meantime.”

Everyone in the class started chatting on, some changing places and joining others. He turned towards his friends and started discussing about what each wanted to do. He absolutely wanted to do something emotional, he hadn’t attempted that style yet and wanted a challenge.

“What’re you gonna write about Sung? How your last hookup wouldn’t answer the phone- Ah ahh okay kidding, I was kidding, jeez” He shot Changbin a dirty look before turning towards Chan. “So what d’you think hyung? What do you plan on doing?” The eldest had been jotting ideas in his notebook like crazy.

“I’m not exactly sure yet. I’m just kinda brainstorming a bit, I also wanna wait until those dancers join us, maybe make a couple of songs centred around their style too?” He nodded and put down a fe other ideas into his own notebook. “Ji, you wanna sing in any of these?”

He looked up and stared directly at Changbin, eyes uncertain. “I-I don’t think that’s a good idea… I’m not that great of a singer, it would probably ruin the songs.” Both his friends gave him a deadpanned expression. “That’s a fucking lie and you know it. Han Jisung you have a great voice.” There was a hand in his hair, ruffling it and someone kissed his door swinging open and students flooding the front of the class. He spotted a particular face and paled, his hands flailed until he gripped Chan’s arm in a tight grip, the other not even flinching. 

“Class! Your attention please. These are the dance majors you will be working with. Their contributions will also count for a big part of their grades, so please take this seriously. Each team please put your names on a piece of paper and bring it to the front please.”

Changbin was the one who got up, a piece of paper with all three of their names in hand. He dropped it in the designated bucket and sat back down. Jisung let go of Chan’s arm and face the front, silently praying to not be paired up with you know who. It was such a small chance honestly, he shouldn’t be worried at this point. There were what, around ten groups from each class. It was a 1 out of 10 chance Minho’s team would pick theirs, the chances were so slim, he shouldn’t even be worried. He watched as Minho walked forward towards the bucket, put his hand in and took a paper. He opened it and Jisung held his breath.

“Bangchan, Changbin, Jisung.”

Chan raised his hand and that was probably the last time Jisung breathed in properly. He didn’t know why the thought of Minho did this to him. He just knew of this guys existence a few days ago. He watched as the four others joined their group and then he laid his head on the desk in front of him, contemplating whether he should run away or not. As he was going through his inner monologue, he felt eyes on him, however, he regretted looking up the second he did. There Minho was, looking directly back at him, expression schooled. He just stared and Jisung couldn’t help starring right back. 

He was really breathtaking, wasn’t he? His cat-like eyes, stupidly perfect nose, pretty lips, sharp jawline, amazing bo- Stop. He should really stop this. He wasn’t attracted to guys, he really wasn’t. at least he thought he wasn’t. all his life he wasn’t. He liked girls, how they had long hair and where so soft. He was attracted to boobs and vaginas, right? And butts, he’s always been an ass guy. Maybe Minho had a nice ass, he’d have to- Seriously, stop. This wasn’t normal, he should’t be thinking these things.

“-ung, earth to Jisung, hello?’’ “huh?” He looked around, brought from his trance. Everyone in his group was looking at him now, he just shrunk back in his seat a little. “We were trying to figure out what style songs would fit best? We were thinking of everyone having a song more catered towards them so that everyone could have chance to shine” He nodded along numbly, Mumbling a ‘sounds good’ before trying to go back to his daydream.

“What kind of songs do you guys usually produce? Maybe that’ll give us more of base and see what would be our strongest points as a team?” He couldn’t help but perk up at the voice. He watched as Minho spoke and for some reason it gave him the courage to answer, trying to convince himself that this guy wasn’t getting him flustered.

“We do a bit of everything but we’re usually more hip-hop focused.” Minho hummed at that, a small smile making it’s way on his face. He sat back in his seat for good this time, just starring unconsciously at the person right in front of him, the person that’s been haunting his thoughts.

“What class do you guys have next?” Changbin got up from his seat gathering his belongings. “We have a free class, we usually just go hang out and do more music related stuff, why?”

Soyoung, one of the girls of their group stood up too. “Well we have a second dance class, in room D-104, it’s technically a free class but for dance related things, we wanted to know if you guys wanna come and watch us figure stuff out for this project? Maybe even give some ideas” All three of them exchanged glances agreed, this could do them some good.

“We’ll meet you there in a few, just gonna grab some stuff.” They all parted ways, Chan Changbin and Jisung made their way to the cafeteria to grab some snacks before heading towards the designated room.

___

When they entered the room, there were already a couple of students stretching and discussing some dance related matters. A familiar looking boy was in the corner of the, stretching his splits and starring at them, more specifically Changbin. The probably noticed this because the next thing he knew, the other took his zip-up off, purposefully flexing a little.The boy in the corner gaped and looked away. “Seriously Bin?”

The other just looked at him, expression as innocent as ever. “What?” Chan just tsked and smiled. “Unbelievable, you just made the boy practically drool.” Changbin just smirked. “Not my fault i’m hot as shit.”

Said boy, who had looked pretty timid at first was walking towards them, blonde hair slightly messy. He was also wearing loose sweatpants but a tee shirt that was slightly too short. “Haven’t seen you here before, coming to see a friend?”

“We’re here for a project, do happen to know a Daejun, Minho, Aerin and Soyoung?” The boy nodded and pointed to the group hidden towards the back. “Minho hyung~” Said boy turned around, a scowl turning into a soft expression. 

“Lix, stop bothering our guests. You guys can come here”

They followed Minho to the back of the class and sat down in front of the group on the floor. “So do you guys want to see what we’ve come up with so far?” All three kind of sat there a little awestruck. “You already have choreography?” They all nodded in response.

Aerin walked towards the speaker, plugging her phone in. “We kinda just came up with a few ideas. The song isn’t important its just for counting purposes. Because we all kinda agreed on at least a hip-hop concept it was easy to come up with some steps, it’ll be easy to alter to the beat of the song you guys will come up with.”

The four of them took their place, serious expressions dominating as they started dancing. They all took their turns in the middle, showing off a little of their strengths with the choreography. When it came to Minho’s turn, Jisung couldn’t keep his eyes off of him, entranced by his movements, the fluidity he possessed. With every isolation, body rolls and unintentional lip licks, he fell deeper in his previous thoughts and for the first time in these past few days he could half admit that maybe… maybe this attraction? wasn’t just the skirt. He honestly didn’t understand what the hell he was actually feeling and it was just so fucking confusing now.

He wasn’t gay… He couldn’t be, right? but maybe he just like Minho? Maybe a little, he was attracted to the guy for sure. This was the first time… ever really he thought of someone so much. Maybe his attraction to girls was just something he thought he had to feel to be normal. Maybe this was normal? He just wasn’t sure anymore. Everything he knew about sexuality was from what his parents taught him. He was always told to be straight, he should be straight and that being gay was bad, that’s it, end of conversation. He knew being gay wasn’t bad, he just couldn’t be anything but straight, to not have his parents shun him like they did to the rest of the population. 

He didn’t know what to do with all of these thoughts and feelings flooding his head, they all just felt so overwhelming to him. There was just one thing he could probably be certain of right now.

Maybe he wasn’t so straight after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this wasn't too much torture on the eyes... ahh I hope this was good. I've been wanting to start this fic for so long and finally had enough words written to start it. Look forward to the next chapter!
> 
> Follow me on twitter for snippets and updates @ SVNGIEC0RE_


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